What is self-love all about?

Selfishness, arrogance, self infatuation... such and other devaluations stand opposite this dominant theme of many guidebooks these days. If there is one thing that this illustrates, it is the lack of consensus about what self-love is.

 

In meiner Coaching Praxis ist die Entwicklung von Liebe für sich selbst zentral. Darum möchte ich dir heute meine aktuelle Sicht auf das Thema zur Verfügung stellen und einige Anreize geben, wie du dich dem annähern kannst.

 

Step 1: Get to know yourself!

In contrast to being in love, which is often enough accompanied by a restricted perception, love means to see and acknowledge the subject involved. Simply put, for self-love this means: See yourself with all that you are and exactly as you are.

 

Step 2: Accept what is!

In the age of the optimization mania, you may also notice points about yourself that you would like to change. After all, it seems much easier to love myself when I'm extremely great... or is it?! I'll leave the answer open at this point and claim pompously that self-love is not about pushing me and pulling on me. So perceive yourself, your needs, characteristics and limits and then allow yourself to be just like that!

In the spirit of deep democracy, accept everything that is there, whether you like it or not. Each of your inner parts has its own history and right to exist. A key to acceptance lies in perceiving and accepting the history of your inner parts and being empathetic with you and all your patterns and quirks.

 

Step 3: Show yourself!

Self acceptance is something beautiful. But if only you can see how and who you really are, that is just half the battle to happiness. We are social beings and there is hardly a more moving, connecting and healing experience than to be seen and respected just as you are in a relationship.

 

These are steps that require a lot of courage and might raise some critical inner voices.

 

I recommend that you to get to know and accept individual aspects of your self piece by piece over time and to let yourself be professionally accompanied if you face greater resistance from the depths of your psyche.