Sentences that begin with these words are difficult. The problem inherent in these three little words is unidentified motivation. You can check this by thinking back to the last time these words were actually followed by behavioural changes. Have you been caught?!

Before your inner critical voices have their say: You are not alone in this, and after all, such a statement can mean that you have detected a difference between your behaviour and your attitude. This phenomenon, known in psychology as attitude-behaviour discrepancy, causes us a lot of headaches. We strive to make our attitudes match how we act and vice versa.

So, there are two ways to address this discrepancy: Firstly (and this is the most common assumption), I have to change my behaviour, or secondly, my attitude towards the respective topic.

We often create our self-image through our attitudes rather than actual behaviour. It is much easier to share socially desirable thoughts and words than to align with them on a daily basis. At the end of the day, however, not all of these desired or adapted ways of thinking or behaving correspond to our individual needs. Therefore, we simply lack the intrinsic, i.e. self-generated, motivation to change our behaviour.

So before you criticise yourself next time for once again not having the discipline to change your behaviour, I invite you to ask yourself the following:

Why should I do/change this?

Who would benefit from this change?

Who (or: what part of me) could I hear saying this sentence?

What would happen if I refrained from/ continued said action?

What is perhaps even good about my current behaviour?

The answers to these questions can be a guide to whether you really want to change your behaviour based on your inner desire or whether it is time to practice accepting your own needs, even if they do not correspond to your desires or the perceived expectations of those around you.

I wish you the best of luck on this exploration journey and in finding your inner congruence!